''Two poets enter!
One poet leaves!''

Ah, the infamous poetry contest. An event in which verse artists--sensitive, intellectual, noncommercial--go ode-to-ode against each other in a battle royale for money, props, and the chance for immortal glory. Twas ever thus. At AsininePoetry.com, we're no different. In fact, if we had our druthers, we'd arm the poets, give them steel-reinforced black turtlenecks and chin straps for their berets, set them loose in a dank tenement basement on a dirt floor, you know, like dog- or cockfights, while a mindless mob lays money down and screams for blood. Would be fun.

Our contest runs twice a year. The top prize varies from $50 to $100. We like the contests because they bring many new asinine poets to the site. We publish not only the top prizewinners but also runners-up; and in subsequent issues we also like to publish a selection of the entries that meet our standards but did not make the contest cut.

Our contests are theme based. The results from all our past contests are online:

#1: fame
#2: bawdy
#3: childhood
#4: food and drink
#5: movies and tv
#6: politics and social commentary
#7: holiday
#8: sonnets
#9: haiku
#10: parody
#11: erotic poetry

Our newest contest: #12: crime poetry!