Prose Contest

the 13th asinine poetry contest: PROSE

WHO SAYS a literary journal internationally regarded for the ridiculousness of its poetry cannot also be as well known (or moreso?) for its equally ridiculous prose? We do! But what the hell, we had a contest for you to write your best asinine prose (no themes!), and you came up with a great array of asininity, from diatribes about nationality to stories about corporate clones. Thanks to everyone for playing!

FIRST PRIZE $100

''The Scourge of Unlawful Infants'' by Stoney Emshwiller

Mr. Emshwiller attacks this subject with semi-serious gusto, and we enjoyed his well-reasoned ''Modest Proposal''-type take on the subject.

SECOND PRIZE $75
''A Woman and Her Secrets'' by Ed Kornfeld

Mr. Kornfeld will need therapy and marriage counseling, and we're hoping this prize will come in handy toward that goal.

THIRD PRIZE $50
''Tie Goes to the Dog'' by Dustin Michael

Mr. Michael is obviously going to the dogs in this sly look at a canine-centric life.

And our runners up (in no particular order)!
''Corporate Gag Gift'' by Marybeth Niederkorn
''On Cell Phones on Queues'' by V.S. Frimmit
''World's Number One Bukowski Fan'' by David Ochs
''For the Love of Neurotics'' by Daniel Thomas Moran
''What Brought This On?'' by Gerald So
''For the Love of Neurotics'' by Daniel Thomas Moran

Starting with the first-prize winnner, the prose pieces will be uploaded in the middle of every month. Keep coming back for more of these terrifically asinine essays and fiction pieces.