Theresa Bayer

(1975 - )

If she could, without looking as bumpy and puffy and sounding as croaky as a Gulf Coast Toad disguised as the Scarlet Pimpernel, Ms. Bayer would eat a grilled cheese sandwich every day. ''With the greasiest, brightest cadmium orange cheddar cheese possible,'' she adds.

"Flip Floppin Awful Waffle"