Michelle M. Buchanan (1980 - )

This species, after years of adjusting to relocation, is found on the countryside. Aggressive behaviors may include painting and running with butter knives, selfishly submitting poetry to anyone willing to read it, and scratching the eyeballs of uptight editors out (with above-mentioned butter knives). Appearance like that of a chameleon and not easily described. Can be spotted wearing high heels while planting things and saving trees. Approach with caution when this is the case. Main diet includes chewy sprees, chocolate, and Diet Pepsi, but has been known to eat naturally grown foods on occasion. Character includes, but is not limited to: constant mind changing, which can be noticed when rapid eye movement is detected; severe mood swings, saying inappropriate things out loud; and proneness to a somewhat obsessive nature. Nocturnal from birth and is known to nap and/or sleep in at every available opportunity. Special precautions: when entering her habitat or personal space you would be quite wise to hide any dull-edged shiny objects, such as butter knives.

Poems