Tim Hayes (1982 - )

Mr. Hayes is currently putting his mastery of prosody to good use as an air traffic control trainee. β€˜β€™On my first day of training, I learned that the FAA will abide neither sackcloth crotch pants, nor furtive dry humping by the radar, nor the lascivious inhalation of pixie sticks through curly straws,’’ says Mr. Hayes, who currently communicates with his girlfriend and two cats via a system of digitized clicks, grunts, and emoticons.