David Alpaugh b. 1941

Mr. Alpaugh is an amateur statistician whose notorious attack on "po-biz" via his "New Math of Poetry" has inspired wannabe versifiers to personify him as "The Grinch Who Stole Poetry." Alpaugh's bitterness at not being admitted into the elite corps of 75,000-plus Pushcart Prize "nominees" explains his gratuitous lashing out at Poetry Daily, Best American Poetry, and practically every anthology published in the past 20 years. Although he uses his "New Math" to belittle other poets, he refuses to include a counter at his own website for fear that the "Math" will show that no one ever stops by.