Matthew Schmidt b. 1984

Mr. Schmidt is currently leasing a friend’s couch in a shared room so he doesn’t have to pay rent. His previous occupations include castrating sheep and hauling two three-gallon buckets of water uphill to parched trees. He has been bitten in the face twice by large canines and taken seven stitches for his impudence. In his spare time he participates in hoedowns and hootenannies. Most times he holds the door courteously for himself. Find him in the personal address section.