S.G. Wiley b. 1977

Mr. Wiley spent four years in the Marine Corps Infantry, where he filled the vital position of platoon clown. "Hey, someone's gotta keep morale high!" says Mr. Wiley, who adds: "You know that trick where you snort spaghetti up your nose and pull it out of your mouth? Don't do it with dog tag chains. Shortly after their removal at a naval hospital, you will be scheduled for a psych evaluation, and while there's no real punishment for stupidity, stories will continue to be told about you at the Marine Corps Base in Bahrain long after your gone."