April Salzano b. 1993
Ms. Salzano spends most of her time lamenting the schizophrenic weather in western Pennsylvania. She frequently places her head in strangers’ ovens and pretends she is Sylvia Plath, particularly when grading freshmen comp papers. Among her epiphanies is the idea that nothing she says matters and everyone is a big fat liar. She also serves as co-editor at Kind of a Hurricane Press.