Dan Morey b. 1975

Mr. Morey’s comedy career began in the Amish resort town of Spartansburg, Pennsylvania, where his act “Why Can't I Find a Straw Hat That Fits?” was a massive hit at the Fettschwein Hotel. He increased his popularity by touring on the horse and buggy circuit, and, in 1996, was booked to play the Big Barn in Lancaster—every Amish comic’s dream. A German language book (You Might be a Mennonite If . . .) followed. Sadly, his meteoric rise was halted as the result of a drunken appearance on Amish Girls Gone Wild—Rumspringa ’98, during which he admitted to being Lutheran. These days Morey—completely insolvent—passes his time at a schnitzel parlor in Erie, PA, where he tells tales of his glorious past to anyone who will listen. “I spent a lot of money on schnapps, Amish girls, and fast buggies,” he says. “The rest I just squandered.”