Claire King (1897 - )

For most of the year, the elderly Ms. King resides in a shoebox. While in her box, she enjoys long drags on the beach, shelving, and luge. She is taken out of the box once a month for cleaning and whenever those nice young men from Chippendale's are in town. As to her longevity, the self-described ''world's oldest 29-year-old'' credits ''high-quality smack'' and ''whatever chemicals they're putting in my chicken.''

Poems