THOSE Hostess pies are nothing like their buns,
But both are so fab -- if a tad too sweet.
Empty calories shouldn't make you gain tons,
But I don't care -- it's what I live to eat.
I have seen junk food on shelves at the store:
I delight in buying fat-laden stuff.
Dong Dongs and Twinkies -- I just want some more,
'Though my dentist cries, ''Twelve caries? Enough!''
Even the additives do not scare me:
Who cares if they might cause cancer in rats.
I tell health-food Nazis, ''Oh, please -- spare me!
I revel in sugar. Hurray for trans fats!''
And so, by heaven, I think I'll never purge
My pre-packaged, unwholesome cream-filled urge.