A drunk and his buddy
named Fred Nicholoff
sat watching a dog
as he cleaned himself off

He cleaned of his onions
and under his tail
It was quite disgusting
since he was a male

The dog seemed so limber
near doubled in half
and as he kept at it
they both had to laugh

''I wish I could do that,''
remarked Mister Fred
as he said out loud
what he thought in his head

But his drunken buddy
just stared at old Fred
He lowered his bottle
and here's what he said:

''Go on if you want to.
I don't think it's right,
but I'll bet you money
that dog's gonna bite!''