I'm in a real estate of mind
Renting a new home, of the New York kind
A stifling shoebox to call my own
Where I can get high. All alone.

The crampiest cranny--just what I need
Pets included, in the deed
Trixie and Dixie and all their friends
Me and the mieces sharing cheeses til the end

Before I signed that dotted line
A little credit check, sir, if I don't mind
Pay stubs, bank statements, and W2s
Cross-examined and colonoscoped by a gumshoe

But now I've a place to sleep and cry
Where my big-city dreams can linger and die
My starry-eyed vision -- just turned askew
Did I tell you about my brick-wall view?