HER thin, white lips,
that long, red hair,
the pale, bloodless skin,
her evil,
    — thirsty —
          evil stare.

Am I the only man who knows
    — who sees —
          who's seen?
That Nicole Kidman is:
      the Undead Queen.

A promo ad for Nicole should be
a single
      — stricken —
              black-and-white glossy.

It shows her angular, emaciated form,
stepping out from within the gloom,
beneath a waxing, bleeding moon.
And before her on two silver chains
parade two drooling Dobermans.
Then from beneath her velvet cape she draws,
a throbbing human heart to gnaw.

Her bloodless form and sunken, upturned eyes,
The eyes that cry —
      — I despise —
            — despise!
                Then pallid,
from within a gown of web and silk,
she'd be perfect for that ad, ''Got Milk?''

*Honorable mention, asinine poetry literary contest, fall 2001