SHE went in.
It was oppressively hot.
Still, I waited, in the alley finishing my cigarette.
The perfect opportunity, I grinned,
to fart with impunity.
Alas,
I shit myself.

I went in.
Walking like Charlie Chaplin.
Afraid, Will anyone notice?
Damn that tuna salad.
Excuse me sir. The restroom?
I'm sorry sir. It's upstairs.
And,
I don't have the key.

I went out.
Two blocks to Burger King.
Dignity running down the leg of my newly pressed slacks.
Alone now, in the stall,
my fears realized.
Damn!
No underwear.