YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NECESSARY™
by Colonel Drunky Bob
THE combed over mop
that covers the top
of your melon
was shocking at first
How you divide and conquer
and look down your honker
was abhorrent
and it only got worse
I didn't care for your breed
and insatiable need
to stomp on the
heads of your foes
The towers you've made
the wealth you parade
you're an anus
right down to your toes
But I've found new esteem
and though it may seem
my head's
populated with rocks
Somehow it all changed
and though it seems strange
it was thanks
to the idiot box
Your new t.v. show
has me dying to go
to the boardroom
and sit in your seat
And feel my heart race
as I purse up my face
and kick one more
ass to the street
Where I once looked with malice
on a bipedal phallus
I now see a man
I'd like to be
I could exercise power
from Drunky Bob Tower
and terminate
slackers with glee
I'd have my own goons
to behead the buffoons
and make them wish
they had never been born
And a rainy-day stash
ten million in cash
to squander
on 40s and porn
And of course without fail
an assistant named Gail
would make sure
my schedule was clean
For an afternoon treat
in the Drunky Bob suite
''All business''
If you know what I mean
And finally Don
I'm not putting you on
I'd have you to the
boardroom for a chat
There'd be Carolyn who
would bring George with her too
and you should all
bring your luggage and hats
And you'd just have to listen
your forehead a-glisten
with sweat
as you tremble with dread
''You've got lots of spunk
but you look like a punk
with that
badger den you call a head!''
Then before ''The Bob''
you'd plead for your job
and I'd grin
as you're wringing your hands
And without any guilt
I'd smile as you wilt
realizing
you've just gotten canned
I guess in the end
there's a lesson my friend
for you dictators
yes-men and thugs
You can't stay on top
with a comb over mop
maybe next time
you'll think about plugs
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