SOME DEAD AUTUMN LEAVES
To the Tune of ''On Top of Old Smokey''
by R.J. Clarken
ON top of some dead leaves
which I plan to burn
I placed my late lover
and poured the sauterne
that we had been drinking
when he said, ''Good-bye.
I've found a new lover
who's younger, more spry
than you are, my dear one.
Now please do not cry.''
I thought to myself, ''Damn!
Now he has to die.''
I just could not let him
walk out of my life.
I went to the kitchen
to get a sharp knife.
While he was still yakking
about his new broad,
I mumbled a few words
on not being maud-
lin or teary about
his report
of finding another
new sexy cohort.
I snuck up behind him
and gave a quick thrust
and then oh-so-quickly
my carpet turned rust.
I think I surprised him -
he did not expect
that I would just stab him -
no time to collect
all his wits about him,
ere he did expire.
I went to the backyard
and lit a bonfire.
In autumn, you can't tell
what's burnt in a yard.
It could be some raked leaves
or a jerk caught off-guard.
Let this be a lesson
and please believe me;
if you're my next lover
don't try to leave me.
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