THIS is really the jolliest time of the year!
I know I'll get gifts that are most undesired.
I'll smile, say thank you and maintain good cheer,

and hope that my gift-givers'll think me sincere.
Here's a list of some things I've lately acquired -
This is really the jolliest time of the year!

A collection of ugly grey steins (with no beer!);
a pirated CD with sound quality way tired;
I'll smile, say thank you and maintain good cheer.

A hideous brooch, which should never appear
on a jacket whose fashion should've long been retired.
This is the jolliest time of the year!

A hydrant for liquor -- it's quite odd booze gear:
I'm not quite sure how you think this is inspired.
I'll smile, say thank you and maintain good cheer.

A really bad copy of a print by Vermeer;
a book of cat poetry -- so not good, it's just queer.
This is really the jolliest time of the year!
I promise to smile, say thank you -- and not sneer.