SITTING in my old armchair
dressed in my birthday suit,
Jonesing the long afternoon
For a lovely bowl of fruit.

I jumped right into my pants
And snatched up the keys,
Drove straight down the lonesome road
To my favorite grocery’s.
 
I walked up to the produce man,
I think my life is incomplete.
He said son I'll help you if I can,
How 'bout something ripe and sweet.

You are sure in luck my boy,
here from the Arizona slopes.
Have yourself a sniff and squeeze,
of these juicy cantaloupes.

I brought one home and sliced it up,
Just like that wise fruitman said.
I've spent eight hours throwing up,
By tomorrow morning I'll be dead.