Marcito Rubio (To the tune of 'Guantanamera')

I AM A thirsty man
From the land of assault rifles
And before suspending my campaign I want
To dispel the fictions of my soul

My soul is red
As red as a red state
My soul is red
As red as a red state

I'd grow a forceful presence
In Cuba if I could
I'd grow a forceful presence
In Cuba if I could

With the good Christians of the country
I want to cast my vote
But if Trump makes me v.p.
That would almost give me more pleasure than a bottle of water

(Repeat ad nauseam)

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