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Asinine Love Conquers All

February 1, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

THIS ISSUE’S HACKS: Ah, it’s every romantic’s our favorite time of the year–because it’s time for Valentine’s! So we’ve prepared poems that, ummm, very loosely have to do with love. Handsome Hal Sirowitz continues to drink of every awkward part of relationship with his new Hal-Ku. Latin lover Scott Emmons just wants to be loved for being somebody else, is that so wrong? Euphoric Euretha Maki likes watching the lower forms make whoopie. Dashing Daniel Thomas Moran loves reminiscing about the old days. And who doesn’t love a good massage? Elegant Elizabeth Swados kills with her look at spa culture. Amorous Alex Galper takes a peppery peek at bondage love. Groovy Graham Everett grooves with his muse. Bubbly Bill Jansen loves him some big ol’ Ashbery. Cuckoo Katharine Showalter goes crazy for Conan O’Brien in her Tweet-derived ode. Fawning Fenway Parker moves in with his new love poem. In our prose, Dirty David Ochs dotes on his love for all things Bukowski, including his cranium. And in our classic asinine section, Wily Will Shakespeare goes all Alanis Morissette with his sonnet.

VALENTINE’S SCHWAG: Love means having to buy something nice every once in a while. Asinine Love Poetry, our printed compilation of love is still available — used and cheap, just like some of the best kind of love money can buy. Buy it! Buy it now!

SPEAKING OF LOVE: We recommend you join us for a drink while enjoying our new Valentine podcast. We find Cabernet pairs well. But tequila will do.

IT’S ALSO GROUNDHOG DAY MONTH: Hilarious!