What's New

Let the Rain Beat Upon Your Head with Silver Liquid Drops

March 31, 2011 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

Available now — for FREE— at the Apple App Store.

HEAR, HEAR: National Asinine Poetry Month l’arrive!! And it l’arrives with great news. This month, we launch the Asinine Poetry app for iPhones. Gratis! Free! Pro bono! Out of the goodness of our hearts. (But please click on the iAds as much as possible, obsessively, even.) With the app, our readers may:

• Read each new monthly issue
• Listen to every episode of the popular Asinine Poetry podcast
• Record poems and submit them to be included in a future podcast
• Submit asinine poems and stories they’ve written for consideration in the journal
• Use Asinine Poetry’s distinctive Like/Dislike poems feature, Wine or Cheese?
• Enjoy the easy access you’ve always wanted to the Asinine Poetry store

To the thousands of newbies to Asinine Poetry being drawn in by the app, welcome to the best damned, only, and oldest literary magazine called Asinine Poetry. If you do not yet have the app, download it now.

THIS MONTH’S POEMS: The consummate asininity of this month’s brilliantly intelligent selection of verse enlarges the possibilities of poetry written in English to dangerously unnoticeable levels. In a work commissioned by the editors, Mr. Richard Cairo transcends a reboot of Thomas Hardy’s ode re: God to more than simply affirm, as one might expect, the progress and coherence of this extraordinary journal’s canon. His poem also allows one to view the world of appdom in context: to revisit our formative significance per verse in the post-racial, socially mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of outlets exemplifying Eliot’s “tribal argot.” Mr. Michael Frissore‘s doctrine, if it is reducible to any, is to sustain thought in conflict with itself as long as the beer is flowing and someone else is compensating the bartender. What kind of fool is Mr. William Trowbridge? Despite his esoteric interests in areas such as oneirology and oenology, Trowbridge continues to advocate for the cessation of world-spinning, so he may thus disembark, till he does not give a damn. He has a new book out too. At the same time, Ms. K.A. Laity is capable as few poets are of a nubile, incessant verse that wears its pants lightly. Her poetics do not hold to some center, but instead bounce around the space in a vain effort to catch the laser point of reason. Ms. Figgie Creamcheese’s evocation of a pedant’s view of academia goes some way to explain why her doctoral thesis faced so much opposition in the reign of New Criticism. She keyed their cars. Since we anticipate at least two new readers, we are initiating a policy of republishing an old asinine favorite each month, for the edification of these new readers. Thus: In this ditty from our old chapbook series, Mr. Chris Yardley writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity. If you figure out what his poem is about, please write us.

THIS MONTH’S PROSE: Spring bade the sparrows pair, and the students’ attention span diminish. It also sparks reflection from Mr. Hector Poole, allowing in a postmodern hand gesture the recovery of actualization and opportunities lost amid chalk dust. Similarly, Mr. Bernie Keating writes about birds fucking. Deliciously, mr. ern modern eschews the idea that successive developments in the human diet have displaced humanity as a menu selection this progressively placing the race farther from a position of abnormalcy. Buen provecho!

OUR CLASSIC ASININE SELECTION: With the onset of fair weather, it is only fitting that we feature a passionate pastoral pastiche, allegedly written by Ms. Dorothy Parker. The poem reminds us that she remains a pioneer among contemporary Asinine writers.

March is the Month of Expectation

March 1, 2011 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

Merry Month of March!