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Asinine Father’s Day Poems

June 16, 2011 - by Catty Marlboro

Presenting a compilation of the Asinine Father’s Day poem series by frequent contributor and orphan Fenway Parker.

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 1
ROSES are red
And mom is a looker
But I know for Father’s Day
Daddy wants a hooker

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 2
ROSES are red
Horses like hay
Just ’cause I give you a poem for Father’s Day
Please don’t say I’m gay

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 3
ROSES are red
Violets are blue
Please don’t mind my asking
if I’m really related to you

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 4
ROSES are red
So is Pop’s nose
He’s asleep on the couch
wearing Mom’s clothes

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 5
COLD are the ice cubes
Clear is the gin
Dad’s got his bat out
Let’s hope the Mets win

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 6
FATHERS are special
Fathers are grand
If they drink enough beer
You get hugs on demand

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 7
I buy Papi gifts
If I can afford it
but now yo no puedo
Since we all got deported

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 8
A real vinyl wallet!
A plastic golf tee!
So, do you get better gifts
from your other family?

Asinine Father’s Day Poem No. 9
VODKA is clear
Whiskey is brown
Mom drinks a lot of both
when you crawl back to town

Long about Knee-Deep

June 1, 2011 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

Knee-Deep in June!