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The Funniest Poetry on the Web. On Purpose.

January 1, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

Notice anything different? Per instructions left behind by the late, great Houghton Piker, and with some of the cash found in a box marked “LIQUOR FUND,” we have retooled the site you’ve come to know and like. Now we’re all Web 2.0-ey and stuff. Tweet a poem! Digg an essay! EmailĀ  . . . something! Sure, we know that most of you hate change, but this is exactly the kind of thing you voted for Obama for! EXACTLY! Of course, as with Congress, there will be delays, road bumps, glitches. As far as glitches, please, if you see something, say something! Let us know, so we can fix it, and let us know what you think of our new look. If you’ve linked to poems in the past, please double-check those URLs. If you have any suggestions about other things we can do with our site — beside sticking it — tell us. Consider this a work in PROGRESS! And, hey, look, you can now comment here in this bloggity area.

This month’s Hacks: In the spirit of the upgraded site, I’ve returned to my News duties, which I have shirked for several months since I was busy shopping and napping. In any case, here is a rundown of the poems up for the premiere issue of AP2 (yes, I did). Scott Emmons does his annual kitchen-sink summation of news events of the year. Thanks to Scott and Hallmark! You can hear this poem and others recited on our latest podcast. Mr. Piker’s recent, sudden death left me speechless. Not so Colonel Drunky Bob, who wrote: “I was sad to hear about the passing of our potentate, drinking buddy, and occasional irritant, Mr. Piker. In fact, the news has moved me to verse. It’s been awhile, but I wanted to send my sympathies by way of this (plagiarific) homage.” So his poem is a, um, PASTICHE of several of Mr. Piker’s favorites. Speaking of death, ern modern sent in a loverly little ode re: Arnold Stang, voice of Top Cat, pal of Frank Sinatra. modern dropped the poem in our inbox saying, ”I kept this in my pocket for years waiting just for this moment.” Poor, lovelorn Roger Unrequited returns with a poem titled what I would call his his romantic prospects. The talented Albert Van Hoogmoed graces us with an ode to everyone’s favorite news-commentating dominatrix. Playwright Elizabeth Swados touches on a subject that would have warmed Mr. Piker’s haunches. If Mr. Piker’s ghost is to be seen anywhere, by the way, it’d be at the office wet bar. Speaking of which, Bill Jansen debuts here with a midday meal — something we always enjoy in liquid form. Oh that Gordon Stanley. Here he is with a poem that throws everything he can against the wall to see what sticks. I don’t get it. And then Michael Ceraolo wraps it all up with two timely political haikus.


  1. Laura Deal — January 13, 2010 @ 5:24 pm

    Since you asked, I’ve encountered a couple of glitches. One is that when I click on the link in the Hola page to get more information about submissions, it takes me to a login page. The other is that when I click on “Email Us” I get a composition box with no email address.
    Other than that, I just want to say that I always love to see poems by Scott Emmons! Thanks.

  2. Catty Marlboro — January 14, 2010 @ 12:15 pm

    Ooh thanks for letting us know! We’ve fixed those issues now — we hope.

  3. P-Woody — January 15, 2010 @ 1:25 pm

    All of the links at the bottom of the page under ‘Pages’ and ‘More pages’ and ‘Feeds’ are 404 (Monkeyfish).

  4. P-Woody — January 15, 2010 @ 1:25 pm

    Clarification, at the bottom of the ‘What’s New?’ page.

  5. Catty Marlboro — February 3, 2010 @ 2:00 pm

    Done! Now someone buy me a drink.

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