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Lo! Now the Direful Monster

February 8, 2013 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

THIS ISSUE’S VERSE: Welcome back! To begin, Ms. Heather Dubrow offers a progressive work, one which more than decisively affirms, as one might expect, the social and political legerdemain of this extraordinary journal’s mise-en-scène. Mr. Matthew Schmidt favors us with a poem that allows one to view the world in context of a post-human, electronically mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of paradigms exemplifying Ben Affleck’s lantern jaw. For her part, Mr. Mel Glenn jarringly apposes a sense of flatulence with a sense of doom re: fiscal cliffs. Similarly, Mr. Matthew Yeager’s work illustrates a historic breakthrough technically and compositionally, as well as being loaded, much like Beyoncé’s later She-Hulk impressions, with religious and secular portent.

IN PROSE: Sharply apropos of current cultural schadenfreude, Mr. S.G. Wiley sheds light on a post-suburban landscape that embodies the technocratic sophistication of, say, Peter Parker. Simultaneously, Mr. Eric Suhem writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity, understood only by advanced civilizations not yet discovered.

IN CLASSICS: As momentary phenomena become distorted through diligent and critical practice, Mr. Houghton Piker raises important questions regarding historical representation of the Other Other. With influences as diverse as Brian Setzer and Garfield, Ms. Easter Cathay offers new variations manufactured from both explicit and implicit socially constructed invention. What starts out as triumph soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of futility in Ms. Violet Radish’s powerful composition, allegedly written during a nap. All the while, Mr. Fenway Parker sharply defines a stunning moment in literary tradition based strictly on a jaundiced cynicism, with some tea.


  1. George Clooney — February 9, 2013 @ 5:59 am

    My neighbor’s ex-wife Matt makes $61/hr making television appearances, blockbuster movies and the like. She has been fired from work for 5 months but last month her income was $13,949,000 just working on the television appearances, blockbuster movies and the like for a few hours. I have a pig.

  2. Jesse Calvin — February 12, 2013 @ 6:00 am

    I really wish to save this particular posting, on my own website.
    Do you really care in the event that I actuallydo? Thanks. Also, do you care if I have spinach salad tonight or romainelettuce? What about capri pants? Should I get capripants? U know, I’m coinsidering dyeing my hair black, like jet black, which is funny because most jets are not black. Do you care? I know you don’t/ Stop lying-Calvin

  3. Richard Nixon — February 13, 2013 @ 4:06 am

    I was half-way to a Liz-Lemon-sized eyeroll, but then you said the magic words: Created by Greg Garcia, who is a totally untalented gerbil and a producer of many, many low-class, unfunny, not-good things. I’m a huge fan of deleting every ounce of footage of both the strained “comedies” My Name is Earl and Raising Hope.

  4. Repeating Pepper — February 18, 2013 @ 6:08 am

    Is this just another attempt to rehash news that has been posted and reposted and reposted on here just about every single week?

  5. Oliver Bleakly — February 20, 2013 @ 6:20 am

    My poetry explores the relationship between multimedia politics and shoe-buying experiences. With influences as diverse as Kierkegaard and Mario Batalli (sp?), new combinations are distilled from both opaque and transgendered textures. Ever since I was a Boy Scout I have been fascinated by the essential unreality of the mind. What starts out as a little gas soon becomes upscaled into an army of poo, leaving only a sense of chaos and the dawn of a new beginning. As spatial replicas become frozen through frantic and critical practice, the reader is left with a summary of the inaccuracies of our culture. Generally, I write in haiku.

  6. Jane 5542 — August 31, 2013 @ 7:04 am

    AUSTENLAND is such an effective movie because it comments on and subverts your expectations of the genre, the storyline, the characters, of cinema itself. Through its critique of the world constructed by cinema, it is able to critique the real world, as that has also been constructed. We are programmed to think things about the world through culture such as cinema. Many of the things we are programmed to think are simply not true; they are happier, easier, more digestible than reality. AUSTENLAND attempts to portray the bleaker aspects of reality; well meaning but under equipped heroes don’t win, monstrous bad guys aren’t punished, wealth will get you everywhere and most people have no power to change any of those things. If the ending of AUSTENLAND was changed, it would not carry the same message, it would compromise what it was trying to say, it would no longer be a critique of cinema and through that a critique of the world, it would become another fairy tale.

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