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“Like as a Huntsman after Weary Chase”

August 15, 2013 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

THIS ISSUE’S VERSE: Ah, summer is slumming and becoming fall. We begin this autumnal issue with Mr. Jeff Coomer, who offers a progressive work, one which more than decisively affirms, as one might expect, the perspicacity and concupiscence of this extraordinary journal’s mise-en-scène, avec human resources. Ms. Cindy Hill favors us with a poem that allows one to view the world in context of a post-racial, socially mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of paradigms exemplifying a fine use of butter and garlic. For her part, Ms. Melanie Browne jarringly apposes a sense of immediacy with a sense of theater re: fat French actors. Similarly, Mr. David Alpaugh‘s work illustrates a historic breakthrough technically and compositionally, as well as being loaded, much like Disney’s latest animated films, with tragic and metaphysical portent. What begins as triumph soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of futility in Mr. Kenneth Nichols‘s powerful composition, allegedly written while sexting. All the while, Dr. Daniel Thomas Moran sharply defines a stunning moment in literary tradition based strictly on a jaundiced cynicism, parroting Mo Rocca’s best efforts at capoeira. Finally, C. H. Nissan, whose work explores the relationship between multiculturalism and vegetarian ethics, displays new variations generated from both constructed and deconstructed textures.

IN PROSE: Cleverly apropos of current cultural apocalyptica, Mr. Gordon Stanley sheds light on a post-moral landscape that embodies the failed technical sophistication of, say, Zack Snyder’s penis. Simultaneously, Ms. Helen Farquarson writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity, understood only by advanced civilizations not just undiscovered but also unborne.

IN CLASSICS: As momentary phenomena become distorted through diligent and critical practice, Ms. Helen Gray Cone raises important question about acquired synesthesia and recycling cultures.



  1. Carrion Ourwaywardson — August 15, 2013 @ 3:36 pm

    If you think Lydia’s story is incredible, five weeks ago my mum’s boyfriend Henry also received $200 just for accompanying another gentleman to the loo. They were in there for about half an hour, probably making conversation–some people are like that, they don’t want to poo alone. I know I like to have my dog in there, although she doesn’t seem to want to stay for very long and scratches at the door and whines, especially on the days after I’ve eaten lots of crab cakes and sour cream. Also–also!–my mum’s boyfriend’s sister`s neighbour has done this for eight months and earned more than $7000 part-time at their local. His hands were the same blue as the urinal puck once. Use the guide available on this page foxnews.com

  2. Bill Gates — August 16, 2013 @ 2:28 am

    So you’re saying you have no nude pictures of Jason Bateman’s sister?

  3. Molly Dover — August 16, 2013 @ 9:07 am

    Interesting. But your presentation has laid you open to accusations of misreading philosophers, particularly Jacques Lacan and G. W. F. Hegel. You carry over many concepts from Lacan’s teachings into the sphere of political and social theory, but you have a tendency to do so in an extreme deviation from its psychoanalytic context. Similarly, your conflation of Lacan’s unconscious with Hegel’s unconscious is mistaken. Noah Wyle, in an effort to dissociate Lacan from the more problematic Hegel, interprets the Lacanian unconscious and the Hegelian unconscious as two totally different mechanisms. Wyle (ER, Falling Skies, the lovely Librarian films) points out, in Lacan and Hegel’s differing approaches to the topic of speech, that Lacan’s unconscious reveals itself to us in parapraxis, or “slips-of-the-tongue.” We are therefore, according to Lacan, alienated from language through the revelation of our desire (even if that desire originated with the Other, as he claims, it remains peculiar to us). In Hegel’s unconscious, however, we are alienated from language whenever we attempt to articulate a particular and end up articulating a universal. For example, if one says “the chicken salad sandwich is with me,” although one is trying to say something about this particular chicken salad sandwich at this particular time, one actually produces the universal category “chicken salad sandwich,” and therefore express a generality, not the particularity one desires. Hegel’s argument implies that we can never express the true nature of reality. Lacan’s argument implies, to the contrary, that speech reveals the true structure of a particular unconscious mind. Also, I love face-sitting.

  4. Jennifer Garner — August 24, 2013 @ 5:19 am

    NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Ben-Affleck-as-Batman supporters do NOT get it. If you support him as Batman, you are the following: (1) You just think he’s hot. BLERGH! (2) You are not true Batman fans (also not true DC fans or even comic fans) (3) You have no cinematic palate whatsoever. So why don’t you leave the opinions to the ones who matter? Like me–his wife! I’m sorry but if you were any of the previous things I said, you really do not know what’s best for Batman. Read that again, and then think to yourself. BEN AFFLECK IS NOT BATMAN. He does not have the presence or, hah, Batswag to pull this off! Wearing Superfriends Underoos every day does not count! You do not cast a failing and almost comedic actor as THE BATMAN! Did any of you see Dogma? I have. 157 times! He makes me watch it every weekend! How about Jay and Silent Bob? You want to cast an actor that has done those types of films and still carries on the personality of those films as THE GODDAMN Batman? You supporters of Batfleck, Fratman, MallBats, etc., really have no cinematic taste whatsoever.

  5. Salinger Fan — August 25, 2013 @ 11:36 am

    I switched to Sriracha because it works better than Preparation H.


  6. John Kerry — August 27, 2013 @ 7:29 am

    So the world continues to watch as individuals on both sides commit various horrible acts. GO MILEY, GO MILEY! One hopes that when the war ends all individuals responsible for crimes are punished, irrespective of whatever side of the conflict they are on. TWERK IT, GIRL!

  7. HowardsEnd — September 7, 2013 @ 6:25 am

    I am hoping that the word “reboot” doesn’t mean “redo” (although it kind of does, doesn’t it?). I would love it if they built the storyline around the duck, but not something that negates what has already been done or redoing what has been done. Build upon the basic storyline with references to what has happened already. If this happens, bring it on! QUACK!!!!!!!!!

  8. Holden On — September 11, 2013 @ 7:02 am

    I’m wondering what Salinger was doing for all those years, hermetically sealed in Cornish. Did he devote himself to meditation on the Nirguna Brahman or actually write anything or just collect his toenail clippings and glue them together to make a lifesize statue of Esme?

  9. Seymour Heinie — October 17, 2013 @ 6:16 am

    The product was as stated and was shipped in a timely manner. Satisfied with the transaction.

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