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“The Blueblack Cold”

November 14, 2013 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

A God AvatarTHIS ISSUE’S VERSE: What do we know, what do we know of poetry’s austere and lonely offices? That until we hire a cleaning person, we all have to haul out our own trash, and what’s with all the flies? We begin this dying-of-the-year issue with Mr. Ed Kornfeld, who offers a progressive work, one which more than decisively affirms, as one might expect, the perspicacity and concupiscence of this extraordinary journal’s mise-en-scène, avec pumpkin pie. Mr. Phillip Lee favors us with a poem that allows one to view the world in context of a post-racial, socially mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of paradigms exemplifying the celebrated execution of a living thing. For his part, Mr. C. H. Nissan jarringly apposes a sense of immediacy with a sense of theater re: Norman Mailer. Similarly, Mr. Russ Brickey’s work illustrates a historic breakthrough technically and compositionally, as well as being loaded, much like Marvel’s lacking television efforts, with tragic and metaphysical portent. What begins as triumph soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of futility in Ms. H.R. Woodsman‘s powerful composition, which is alas probably too long for most of you to bother reading. All the while, horrifically prolific poet Mr. Changming Yuan sharply defines a stunning moment in literary tradition based strictly on a jaundiced cynicism, parroting Miley Cyrus’s achingly sad attempts at relevancy.

IN PROSE: Cleverly apropos of our current culture of self-reverence, Ms. Helen Farquarson sheds light on a post-moral landscape that embodies the failed technical sophistication of, say, Zack Snyder’s penis. Simultaneously, Mr. Bernie Keating writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity, understood only by advanced civilizations not just undiscovered but as yet unborne. Finally, the ill-named Mr. Ian Starttoday, whose work explores the relationship between multiculturalism and vegetarian ethics, displays new variations generated from both constructed and deconstructed textures.

IN CLASSICS: As momentary phenomena become distorted through diligent and critical practice, Mr. James Thurber raises important question about acquired synesthesia and recycling cultures in a piece we will no doubt be asked to take down because of copyright issues.


  1. M. Meursault — November 15, 2013 @ 6:35 am

    Je dois la demande : Où est mon radis? Je laisse ici sur le compteur, et maintenant vous arrivez avec votre stupide la poésie et vos histoires stupides, et encore, il n’y a pas mes radis. Pour cela, vous doit payer. Mais Helen Farquarson est un génie.

  2. Edwin Jarvis — November 15, 2013 @ 8:30 am

    What do you expect with Marvel’s AGENTS OF SHIELD?! It’s an agency of humans (a stand-in for the NSA, clearly) in a world in which superhumans fly around (though you can’t tell that much from watching the episodes), and SHIELD are the (mostly white) “good guys” trying to keep us safe (while mostly endangering people of color). Just give us the ever-loving MODOK and things will get better!

  3. Jesus Pagan — November 16, 2013 @ 1:44 pm

    “There are still generations of people, older people, who were born and bred and marinated in it, in that prejudice and racism, and they just have to die,” said Oprah, a staunch anti-atheist who quickly realized that she had to include herself. “Someone get me a truckload of Twinkies and a napkin.”

  4. Bernie Keating — November 18, 2013 @ 3:23 pm

    Absolutely brilliant. My faith in Bernie Keating has been restored x 1,000.

  5. Ashley Greene — November 21, 2013 @ 7:14 am

    What is this baby soda I keep hearing about? is it soda for babies or soda made out of babies? Because i can attest to the fact that babies are bubbly. Not that I have a baby, but when I was born I used to fill my diaper with so much flatulence I looked like I had a Jiffy Pop container on my bum. Yes, I remember back that far! Oh I really like the poem about the Xmas tree. LOLZ.

  6. Carrion Ourwaywardson — December 13, 2013 @ 3:53 pm

    I just told my wife and son to run come read this. Wow…

  7. Dart Tanion — January 13, 2014 @ 2:54 pm

    Tell Mr. Thurber that I was looking for something that would vacuum laminate or other hard flooring under beds and low clearance furniture where dust collects. I have very few carpets that match the drapes. I found the handle not long enough for cleaning under a king-sized bed and the dust and/or microfiber floor attachment-head impossible to control from a horizontal position, although it worked okay in missionary. I also did not want to use the microfiber cloth as I was just interested in the suction when my wife was out of town but operating without the cloth seems to mean dragging the plastic piece designed to hold the cloth over the floor. The carpet/floor head worked better but I don’t like the brush turning over the hard floors even at the slow speed and the head is too thick for low clearance furniture. And I got all my furniture on low clearance. Seems to be an okay vacuum otherwise but poorly designed for my specific intents and purposes.

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