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“At Tables Outside Supermarket Doors”

January 15, 2014 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

Bad tattooTHIS ISSUE’S VERSE: Welcome back to another inevitable issue of Asinine Poetry that you never asked for. We begin this birthing-of-the-year issue with Mr. Jeff Coomer, who offers a progressive work, one which more than decisively affirms, as one might expect, the perspicacity and concupiscence of this extraordinary journal’s mise-en-scène, avec memos. Mr. Kenneth Nichols favors us with a poem that allows one to view the world in context of a post-racial, socially mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of paradigms exemplifying office life. For his part, Mr. Daniel Thomas Moran jarringly apposes a sense of immediacy with a sense of theater re: Edward Everett Hale. Similarly, Mr. Chuck Stoup‘s work illustrates a historic breakthrough technically and compositionally, as well as being loaded, much like DC’s subpar film and TV efforts, with tragic and metaphysical portent. What begins as triumph soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of futility in Mr. Bill Jansen‘s powerful composition, which we can’t understand either. Cleverly apropos of our current culture of self-reverence, Mr. Howie Good sheds light on a post-moral landscape that embodies the failed technical sophistication of, say, Zack Snyder’s penis. All the while, horrifically prolific poet Mr. Changming Yuan sharply defines a stunning moment in literary tradition based strictly on a jaundiced cynicism, parroting Beyoncé’s achingly sad attempts at relevancy.

IN PROSE: Meanwhile, Ms. Catty Marlboro (the first woman writer for this issue; c’mon, ladies, send stuff in!) writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity, understood only by advanced civilizations not just undiscovered but as yet unborne.

IN CLASSICS: The long-dead Ms.  Phoebe Cary, whose work explores the relationship between multiculturalism and vegetarian ethics, displays new variations generated from both constructed and deconstructed textures. As momentary phenomena become distorted through diligent and critical practice, Mr. Shay Tasaday raises important question about acquired synesthesia and recycling cultures in a piece or is it because we just didn’t have any new prose for this issue?


  1. G. Beck — January 15, 2014 @ 11:26 am

    I just have to say this, and this seems like the perfect place to say it. It’s clear that no one involved in the making of JACK RYAN: SHALLOW REBOOT has ever even read a Tom Clancy novel. Why are none of the characters gay? Where are the leather pants and disco soundtrack? I didn’t hear ONE snarky comment! What is up with Chris Pine’s face?! I know, right! I understand that faithfully adapting Jeff Rovin’s, I mean, Tom Clancy’s books would be pretty hard for Hollywood. How many gay orgies can you show in cinema? (Everyone knows that RED OCTOBER is a code name for an anal probe, right?) I don’t have that much of a problem with creating an original story that uses the Clancy characters but let James Franco direct. And he would be perfect to star in A CLEAR AND PERSONAL LUBRICANT. That’s what makes him interesting.

  2. Elias Fartington — January 16, 2014 @ 7:55 am

    Too many bad words. DID NOT CARE FOR IT.

    Would not recommend. Maybe meant for younger male readers not for older people.

  3. Ryuichi Sakamoto — January 16, 2014 @ 2:03 pm

    Bürger Vereinten sei kein Fehler. Bürger United war geplant und koordiniert von der Koch Bros und ihre überaus reichen Freunde, die ein Business-run faschistische Regierung … eine Regierung, die großen Führern wie Abraham Lincoln haben davor gewarnt von Anfang der Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika. Ich möchte alles über den modernen Teenager. Es war sehr gut gemacht.

  4. Lester Holt — January 22, 2014 @ 3:55 pm

    I can’t poop with a hat on. There, I said it!

  5. Michelle Dockery — January 25, 2014 @ 7:54 am

    Stephen Hawking’s announcement is by no means bad news for the Romulans. Romulan ships are powered not by quantum black holes but rather by an artificial quantum singularity (or in contemporary parlance, a gravity well). They also have apparent horizon compensators, which you can purchase at Meineke. So, Hawking’s position is more likely bad news for the Federation. I love the Phoebe Cary poem, by the by. She was SMOKING HOT in Fast Times. I could eat her up with a silver spoon!

  6. Bobby D — January 25, 2014 @ 12:07 pm

    Somebody needs to throw a fucking bucket of cold water on Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio to get them separated.

  7. Gary Dell-Abate, Esq. — January 29, 2014 @ 4:06 pm

    This is exactly what I was going to ask you about during our next training session! I finally get it. I will start reading through your blogs. Also, do you have any nude pictures of Art Linketter?

  8. Great Grandma — February 13, 2014 @ 6:31 am

    It is a pretty decent issue but I find the F bombs annoying. To me when one must use that word in nearly every line it shows lack of respect and a need for a dictionary. I enjoy a good poem but as a senior citizen I have read hundreds of really good poems that didn’t contain such vulgar language. So fuck you.

  9. Albert Fuzzy Brain — November 17, 2014 @ 6:06 pm

    That was great Grandma.

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