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“Sun, Moon, and Stars Notwithstanding”

July 3, 2014 - by Mr. Shay Tasaday, Editor in Chief

This truck does not really exist. Do not call us and ask us to move your credenza.

THIS ISSUE’S VERSE: Welcome to the July 2014 issue, for which we mostly have ourselves to blame. After weeks of negotiations with our lawyers, Mr. Corporate Entity offers a regressive work, one which more than decisively counterpoints, as one might expect, the perspicacity and concupiscence of this extraordinary journal’s mise-en-scène, avec SCOTUS. Please do not sue us. Our friend and mentor Mr. Hal Sirowitz returns with another poem that allows one to view the world in context of a post-gender, socially mediated age and its arrival as one of the multitude of paradigms exemplifying chafing. Returning yet again, Mr. Sirowitz jarringly apposes a sense of immediacy with a sense of loss and anal retention re: the modern philosophy of listicles. Similarly, Ms. April Salzano‘s work illustrates a historic breakthrough technically and compositionally, as well as being loaded, much like the end credits of the latest Transformers movie, with tragic and metaphysical portent. What begins as triumph soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of hopelessness and futility in Mr. Robert L. Martin‘s powerful composition, which we defy you to comprehend. Cleverly apropos of our current culture of near-constant self-indulgence, Mr. Henry Goldkamp sheds light on a post-moral landscape that embodies the failed moral and ethical sophistication of Kevin Hart’s farcical attempts at comedy. Déjà vuing, Mr. Goldkamp sharply defines a stunning moment in literary tradition based strictly on a jaundiced cynicism, mimicking Prince George’s latest diaper escapade. And Mr. Rich Harris whose work explores the relationship between mythology and misogyny, displays new variations generated from both constructed and deconstructed effluvia.

IN PROSE: Meanwhile, Ms. Jessica L. Kleinman writes with admirable clarity and concision on a subject of extreme complexity, understood only by advanced cultures not just undiscovered but as yet unborne. Ms. Rebecca Dougherty‘s story attempts to assail the broadest and most metaphysically significant questions of human existence, allowing her work to become a mirror into which readers do not merely look, but become a part.


  1. JJ — July 5, 2014 @ 6:35 am

    I would not recommend people to read the issue because it is not really a good issue to read. The reason why i dont like the book is because it is to confusing and some of the story a wack to me.The reason why i think that it is wack is because it involves to much thinking and the confusing.So if were dont waste your time on the issue see a movie. But i would recommend people to wach a move because it is an outstanding move.The reason why i think that it is a good move is because of the way the actors play there role in it. An the way that Jackie never give up on her dream of slam poetry. Wait I just read it and the Five and Counting pom is good

  2. Robert Pinksy — July 6, 2014 @ 6:40 am

    I agree but
    crappy teen comedies
    have a way of making
    even young actors
    look like they’re
    middle-aged and flatulent.
    It’s like their faces can tell
    they shouldn’t be in the movie,
    and their bodies fight
    as if they were lactose intolerant
    to the whole schmoo.

  3. Chris Tucker — July 6, 2014 @ 12:45 pm

    It’s not racist to hate kevin heart. It just shows good taste.
    Sent from my iPod

  4. Don DeLuise — July 7, 2014 @ 6:42 am

    Every issue since #1 this has been filled with stories worth reading … which is why I’ve bought every issue, and will continue to do so. Wait, is this Juggs magazine we’re talking about? Are there any picture of Bateman’s sister?

  5. Tom "Superman" Welling — July 7, 2014 @ 3:23 pm

    Honestly, the cast is the LEAST of my worries. THAT’S how little faith I have in this movie. You know, in EVERY interview Zach Snyder makes it clear that he has absolutely no self-awareness in regards to himself or the problems many have with the film. He could even be transgender and not know it. I’m with Shay: everything Snyder says just worries me more and more. Anyway, it could turn out great for all we know. But I doubt it. You know WHAT would WORK? SMALLVILLE: THE MOVIE!! C’MON! C’MON! Really great piece on flash fiction, by the by.

  6. LillyPoops — July 8, 2014 @ 7:14 am

    I’m not even going to argue about it: “These Are the Notes I Leave” is one of the most deeply important, personal (and best) poems I’ve ever read. And I rarely read poetry.

  7. Catty Marlboro — July 10, 2014 @ 11:59 am

    Yes, many of our readers ask where we get the neat little Asinine Poetry pictures that we include in our blog. We get them from the loverly Gerard Vlemming’s The Generator Blog. It hasn’t been updated in more than a year, but it’s still worth a visit! Gee, I hope Gerard is still alive.

  8. William Gent — November 17, 2014 @ 10:12 am

    On flatulence
    I take my stance
    Old Age has made me
    As I walk every step
    Releases a little toot
    I never was musical
    I blow a tune
    Quite lyrical
    My fame has spread
    Just the other day
    Someone inquired
    Is that Old Fart?
    You can hear him all the way
    Over in aisle two

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