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March on, Asinine, March On

March 1, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

Photo sent in by Marybeth Niederkorn, Poet Extraordinaire. Note the Dave Barry obsession.

WE HAD A QUICKIE: Contest that is. On February 25, desperate for one last poem, and aching for something that connected President Obama, the Dalai Lama, and St. Patrick’s Day, we announced via Twitter and Facebook  a 48-hour LIMERICK CHALLENGE for this St. Paddy’s issue: “Write a limerick using O’Bama and Dalai Lama as two of the end rhymes. Win a t-shirt, mug, or any asinine schwag.” We got a surprising amount of entries and the winner is featured in the issue this month. But we though you’d like to read some of the runners up:

When Nobel Prize-winner Obama
by Dustin Michael

When Nobel Prize-winner Obama
dines with his fellow laureate Dalai Lama,
they’ll dish on Tibet
but really, they’ll get
from China a plateful of drama

The Dalai Lama Told O’bama
by Martha Chaves

The Dalai Lama told O’bama
don’t go near large water mammals
or they will kill your ass
like a weed kills the grass
and it’s going to be a huge drama

When Passing Political Blame
by Marybeth Niederkorn, Poet Extraordinaire

When passing political blame,
discretion’s the name of the game.
You can ask of Obama
or Dalai the Lama
and the answer is always the shame.

The Tea Party Created Such Drama
by Kat Wopat

The Tea Party created such drama
Even Boston forgot ol’ O’Bama.
They got a nudie with a truck,
And a ’tude of What the F*@k,
Plus an Alaskan as faux Dalai Lama

Look for more quickie challenges here and on our Facebook page in the future.

THIS ISSUE’S HACKS: As noted above, we announced a limerick challenge. Gingery Glenna Sweeney won handily by going beyond expectations and turning in a limerick triptych that seemed to say everything that could be said about President Obama, the Dalai Lama, and St. Patrick’s Day. A mug is in the mail to Glenna for that one. Keeping the Irish theme, righteous Rick Blum goes after the lascivious lion of the links. In non-similar news, the non-Irish Hal Sirowitz could still be talking about shepherd’s pie. Going back to Galway, the Gaelic gallant Daniel Thomas Moran ogles the Olympians, and not just the redheads. Speaking of which, the romantic Ryan Quinn Flanagan makes an effort. Euretha Maki may be no more Irish than McDonald’s but here she is with tips on fast food. Newbie Richard Peake also does a National Geographic special. Going green again, my office buddy Richie Narvaez looks at everyone’s favorite Emerald egoist. Speaking of which, Carlos Hirado goes Buddhist. To which the also non-Irish-but-not-bashful Alex Galper understands the jig is up. Meanwhile, Marybeth Niederkorn investigates the lethal side of office politics. And everyone’s favorite insane Irishman Johnny Swift celebrates heartily.

Asinine Love Conquers All

February 1, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

THIS ISSUE’S HACKS: Ah, it’s every romantic’s our favorite time of the year–because it’s time for Valentine’s! So we’ve prepared poems that, ummm, very loosely have to do with love. Handsome Hal Sirowitz continues to drink of every awkward part of relationship with his new Hal-Ku. Latin lover Scott Emmons just wants to be loved [...]

New Site, New Schwag

January 21, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

A whole new design deserves a whole new attempt at merchandising. Books. T-shirts. Mugs. Thongs! And new for this season: dogwear. See how this this loverly pooch, who goes by the macho name of Bogey, shows off our new look! Check out our store now. You say you want deals? We got ‘em. Um, yeah, [...]

Shatner Does the Raven

January 10, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

We can all learn a little from the Shatner, yes, we could.

The Funniest Poetry on the Web. On Purpose.

January 1, 2010 - by Catty Marlboro

Notice anything different? Per instructions left behind by the late, great Houghton Piker, and with some of the cash found in a box marked “LIQUOR FUND,” we have retooled the site you’ve come to know and like. Now we’re all Web 2.0-ey and stuff. Tweet a poem! Digg an essay! Email  . . . something! [...]

Dog Poetry

December 30, 2009 - by Catty Marlboro

This bit from David Letterman is a great primer for writing asinine poetry. As the great actor Matthew McConaughey once said in Reign of Fire, “Use it!”

Watch This Space

- by Catty Marlboro

Houghton Piker, Founder of Asinine Poetry, Dies at 77

December 15, 2009 - by Catty Marlboro

CATTY HAS NO WORDS: Houghton Piker, Founder of Asinine Poetry, Dies at 77 By UPTOWN SINCLAIR, reprinted from the NEW YORK TIMES without permission Published: December 14, 2009 Houghton Piker, the prolific and populist poet who founded Asinine Poetry, a literary journal that carved out and fiercely held on to a deservedly ignored niche of [...]

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