A Primer on Eco-Terrorism

The FBI comes down hard on The Earth Liberation Front

by Daniel Thomas Moran

I'M just speaking
strictly for myself,
But I could never join
a bunch like ELF.
No matter the importance
or the gravity,
I dislike all their
wimpy eco-depravity.
Burn a house to save a tree,
Makes very little sense to me.
Annoying nice ladies
in floor length minks
Makes a silly kind of point
I thinks.

I might shoot a man
who would cut his grass,
Or hang soccer-moms
for wasting gas.
What gain do tell me
if you please,
From wasting good Krylon
on SUV's?
These ELFs I suggest
just might do well,
To take a nice course
in raising hell.

Expecting dumb humans
to become compliant,
Requires not tiny ELFs
but some kind of GIANT.
The forest full
of furry things,
The sky a flutter
with birdie wings,
Could very likely
all be saved,
By some strategy
decidedly more depraved.

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