Hey, Robert Smith Called: 11 Haikus about Tim Burton

by Gordon Stanley

BATDANCE! Who the freak?
You are why no ones listens
to Prince anymore
*
All of your films
concern a social misfit.
It hurts to be you, huh?
*
Hey, Robert Smith called.
He wants his hair and look back.
Ring! It's Phil Spector.
*
Beetlejuice to Batman:
You both helped and killed
Michael Keaton's career.
*
Ed Wood in a dress.
When you looked at Johnny Depp
did you touch yourself?
*
What's your excuse?
You remade Planet of the Apes
You have no excuse.
*
The Headless Horseman
is scary. Why did Sleepy
Hollow
make me snore?
*
Well, Mars Attacks! looked nice.
Do you get all your scripts
from bubblegum cards?
*
Watching Jack Skellington
I wondered if you still
lived with your parents.
*
You love Vincent Price
but if he saw Big Fish
you'd get the pendulum
*
If you had scissorhands
when you saw Johnny Depp
would you still touch yourself?

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