My Woman Don't Suck

by Mal Torme

MY woman's eyes: one looks left, one look right
You can't tell what the fuck she's lookin' at
She does this weird-as-shit thing with her mouth
You’d think twice in awhile she’d take a bath
I need some fuckin' earplugs when she talks
It sounds like someone's stepping on a cat
Her breath—well look, it smells like baby shit
Her ass is ''shapely?'' Yeah, here’s a shape: fat
Her ''beauty cream'' don’t do her too much good
I doubt that hairstyle's ever coming back
She doesn’t like to breath out of her nose
No guy would look at her and think, ''Nice rack''
But you so much as look at her, my friend
A can of whoop-ass you will have opened

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