On the Death of Chef Louise Suicided by Culinary Critics

by Alex Galper

SURELY, life is nothing like diet sugar,
I know - you fought to the bitter end,
pouring shrimp sauce over frog's legs,
cutting onions with tears in your eyes.
those thugs took away two stars off your rating
putting a knife two times into your heart would be less painful,
and you couldn't take it anymore.

between you and me -
who really gives a damn about Chechnya, Iraq or North Korea?
we don't even know where these countries are.
there are real tragedies taking place -
a kitchen boy, an idiot, pours too much salt into a soup
or a moron-waiter puts wrong forks on the table.
alas, one has to learn to see the bright side also -
like ''to-die-for'' smoking steaks a-la-Marseilles
or ''to-kill-for'' raspberry ice-cream ''Long Live Burgundy!''
your nerves, weakened by cholesterol
and endless love for pig pork failed you.

in your will, you founded an award
for the best chicken soup,
in the suicide note, you asked
to be buried in a white hat, apron,
and a shiny, shiny pot.

1 Like
Log in to rate
0 Dislike