by Jon Wesick

ANY mother will tell you childbirth hurts.
So after Mrs. God delivered the universe,
She wasn't in the mood to do it again soon.
Staying up late in the stellar nursery
to get the relative abundance
of helium and hydrogen right, left Her exhausted.
No wonder She didn't respond, when God got all romantic
and put Luther Vandross on the turntable.
She got out of there fast saying,
''I need to step out for a billion years. Watch the kids!''

Although God felt disappointed,
He resolved to do His best.
Sure their Mother spoiled humanity rotten,
but He had faith in His ability to lay down the Law.
Easier said than done. Humanity just wouldn't behave.
He could handle that, but when they didn't return His affection,
it stung like a haymaker from Sugar Ray.
God lashed out with war, death camps, and disease.

For millennia theologians have puzzled
over the problem of suffering.
They scratch their heads and ask,
''What did we do?''
I think we'd all be better off,
if we sprang for a good marriage counselor.

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