Harry Potter and the Nocturnal Emission

by Gordon Stanley

STOP shining that wand
you'll turn yourself blind and become
Hairy Palmer.

If wizards ruled Earth
would Muggles live in ghettos?
As if we don't now.

Lucas version:
CGI Voldemort would say:
''Har, I am your Dad!''

Great wizard Harry,
Hermione's saved your ass
how many times now?

Nice brooms in Quidditch.
Know what they'd be good for?
Cleaning your room for once.

Writerly Rowling
Suddenly she waves and makes
Adverbs and plot holes!

Child actors are cursed.
Think of ''He Who Must Not Be Named'':
Gary Coleman.

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