On the Discovery of Why Some Popcorn Kernals Don't Pop

by Steven McDougal

LONG have scientists toiled and troubled,
Test tubes and beakers boiled and bubbled,
Evidence was sifted, data compiled,
Anomalous findings were reconciled,
And finally, at last, we have an answer
To a question more nagging than cancer
And other such things that ravage the land;
Why apples are fried and peaches are canned.
The greatest discovery, I think and sigh,
Since making onions that don't make you cry.

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