by Glenn W. Cooper

WOULD it really surprise anyone
to learn that Britney Spears is an expert
in semi-conductor physics? I've heard
the story so often that it must be true.
I can see her standing in front of the
whiteboard -- large breasts swaying
rhythmically under her sheer mesh
top, explaining to her bewildered
fans how materials are categorized
into conductors, semiconductors or
insulators, by their ability to conduct
electricity. Similarly, the curve
of a conductor band -- she emphasizes
with a swoosh of pink marker pen
through the air -- is roughly equivalent
to the curve of a woman's thigh where
it widens and meets the booty at the
point of intersection. None of this is
beyond the scope of reality, not by
any stretch – which only goes to show
that whoever said the universe was
stranger than we could possibly imagine,
surely knew what they were talking about.

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