Columbyphilis

by Arthur Radley

ALL those cheap jokes now
About Christopher Columbus

It's Columbus Day! Let's clap!
Or . . . Christopher Columbus
Was here first, all right: That's what she said.

Or Santa Maria! What's happened to Nina!

Or . . . good thing Washington was father of
Our country and not Columbus. We dodged
A bullet there.

It's disrespectful, frankly, to all Americans--
Whether of Italian descent or not--
Who enjoy unprotected sex.

Maybe Columbus was the first man
Back in 1492 to say
''No look, I swear, I'm only going
to put it in a little.''

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