Under Shakespeare's Cod Piece

or, His Wife Takes the Measure of Her Will*

by George Spencer

UPON unzipping his poetic fly
she found a meter so awfully grand
that when she touched it with her hand
it was large enough to satisfy
her increasing wish to versify
both orally on the stage at night
and then later by a dimmer light.

* This poem was found in London in a bottle hidden in the wall of the Underground. We are sure it was written by Shakespeare's wife. As you can imagine, the Shakespeare scholarly community has tried to suppress this because this poem suggests Will's wife was also a writer and may have written parts of his/her plays or even the sonnets. God forbid! This will be the first time this poem and related information has been published in the United States.

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