Al Gore on The Rocks

by Daniel Thomas Moran

I'M getting heated up about all the reforming,
We hear about this global warming.
So what if the climate balance tips?
Just call a plumber if your glacier drips.

When you boil it down who really cares
About the bloody polar bears?
Does anyone hear any songs being sung
While they murder our seals and eat their young?

As every leatherneck in Florida knows
there's nothing American about Eskimos.
Let's get them burning some fossil fuels
and start selling them some swimming pools.

Let's preserve the ice for ice cream floats.
After all a rising tide will lift all boats.
The deserts are better without the rain
If it hit seventy in January, who'd complain?

If we got rid of hockey would it be wrong?
Just make the baseball season all year long.
I say let's make New York City punt
and give the folks in Philly some oceanfront.

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