Crime Is Too Crunchy under Your Feet When You Walk Around

by Gregory Lawrence Stewart

SO there was this planet
where there were these guys
who were all criminals

so they were sitting around talking about their crimes
and one was saying how he killed this other guy
because he saw him kill another guy

so the guy he was telling the story too stabbed him
right there while he was telling it

then this other guy who was listening
to the guy telling the story to the guy who stabbed him
came over and said,
''Hey what did you do that for?''
and the guy who stabbed the other guy said,
''Cause he killed a guy.''

Then the guy who came over said,
''And you just killed that guy too.''
so the guy who came over stabbed that guy

then some other guys down the street saw it all
and they came over and stabbed that guy

so these guys were all running around on this planet
where everyone of them were criminals
killing each other till the last guy on the planet
who was left stabbed himself and died
because he couldn't live without anyone to stab

so they were all dead
and there was no more crime.

No one goes to that planet anymore
because it's got a bad reputation
and the left over bones of all the dead guys
is too crunchy under your feet when you walk around.

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