A Polygamist Divorce

by Albert Van Hoogmoed

POLYGAMY sounds like
a whole lot of fun,
when you are the man-king,
when you are the one

with fourteen young women
at your beck and call,
and 59 children,
you fathered them all.

But old Jedediah
saw love run its course
when they called a lawyer
and filed for divorce.

There was one big problem
they could not abide,
and that was the girlriend
he had on the side,

a much older woman,
about 33.
He always denied it
too vehemently.

Now poor Jedediah
just barely survives,
with 59 children
and fourteen ex-wives.

Three hundred per child
put the man in arrears,
two hundred twelve thousand,
four hundred a year.

And then alimony
made matters much worse:
one thousand per woman,
each month, on the first,

and insurance payments
and medical bills!
He should've spent money
on birth control pills.

But he'll work it out
the American way.
He'll just go bankrupt
and welfare will pay.

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