Mary and Her Little Lamb in Tough Economic Times

by Albert Van Hoogmoed

MARY had a little lamb,
so the story goes,
but happened later on,
no one really knows.

One day Mary lost her job
and had no food to eat.
That's when Mary realized
her lamb was made of meat.

Mary called her little lamb,
a bat behind her back,
and when the lamb got close enough
it got a vicious whack

right across its little head,
right between the ears!
Mary watched it flop around,
fighting back the tears.

Mary loved her little lamb,
each and every bite.
She'd soaked it in some marinade
and cooked it up just right.

She used a brand new recipe
that she had never tried,
with liver and some fava beans,
chianti on the side.

She ate the ribs the little lamb
had brushed against her leg
and ate the leg it used to raise
when it first learned to beg.

Then she took a great big bite
and didn't chew it right.
It lodged in Mary's trachea
and so she died that night.

Now the lamb is with the Lord
for all eternity
and Mary's roasting down below
on Hell's rotisserie.

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