Year-View Mirror: The Year 2009 in Rhyme

Nine in rhyme

by Scott Emmons

LET'S drink to '09 with a good belt of wine
(Though whiskey may well be more fitting!)
The recession was hairy, the Swine Flu was scary,
And Oprah announced she was quitting!
While we loved Lady Gaga, the Octomom saga
Struck many as shameless and wrong.
We witnessed the rift between Kanye and Swift,
And Phelps was caught smoking a bong!
When a pilot’s quick brain saved his passenger plane
On the Hudson, the tale was a thriller.
Balloon Boy was phony as rubber baloney.
The abs on the werewolves were killer!
A governor’s flame was an Argentine dame,
Bringing scandal to South Carolina.
There were pirate attacks, there was Goldman and Sachs,
There was poisonous drywall from China!
The prez was sworn in and he flashed us a grin
While exuding his usual charms.
Though some thought it shady, the stylish First Lady
Asserted her right to bare arms.
While Michelle was in Vogue, Sarah Palin went Rogue
And political tensions were showing.
With the gathering storm over health care reform,
The Tea Party movement was growing.
The Hollywood crew gave us Transformers 2
While Up was a true work of art.
There was Brüno (a jerk!) plus a young Captain Kirk
And an overweight mall cop named Blart.
Those admen on “Mad Men” were sexy-yet-sad men
With lives full of pressure and toil.
Adam Lambert came out, leaving no shred of doubt,
And who didn’t love Susan Boyle?
O’Brien shone bright as the star of Tonight.
Stephanopoulos stepped in for Sawyer.
And of course a divorce was so quickly in force
That we watched Jon and Kate Plus Her Lawyer!
When a huge SUV hit a hydrant and tree
And the worst of the rumors proved true,
The endorsements went winging, for that kind of swinging
Just wasn’t the Tiger we knew!
And Pop lost its King!  What a terrible thing
For an artist with hit after hit!
There were songs and orations with loud lamentations,
For everyone knew This was It.
There were others as well who went out, sad to tell.
We saw Cronkite and Kennedy fall.
Bea Arthur is gone, Ed McMahon has passed on,
And Mary left Peter and Paul.
With the passing of Farrah we ended an era
And Soupy and Swayze went too.
DeLuise said goodbye, as did Oxy-Clean Guy
And the soft-spoken star of Kung Fu.
Yet some news was brighter and made us feel lighter
In spite of our sorrows and peeves.
There was Google Wave chat and a keyboarding cat.
There were trendy new blankets with sleeves!
Though we still can’t erase all the troubles we face
From the climate to high unemployment,
Let’s be of good cheer and they won’t interfere
With our holiday fun and enjoyment.
We’ll turn from the news to whatever we choose,
Be it Lifetime or ESPN.
And after a break, we’ll be ready to take
The big plunge into Two Thousand Ten!

Previously published by Shoebox Greetings; copyright 2009 Hallmark Cards, Inc.

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