Bob Balaban and the Taliban

by Gordon Stanley

DEAR BOB BALABAN,
Oh man, oh man I can't understand!
How could you -- why would you
become Taliban?
I watch you on TV every chance that I can
playing a director, or nebbish, or some everyman.
In fact, I would say indeed that I am
I am, I am a Bob Balaban fan!

Now please, Bob, please, help me understand!
Was it our war in Afghanistan,
where despite all our efforts
the shit's hit the fan?
Or could it be -- would it be the state of Iran,
where also things haven't gone the way that we planned?
Is this your own way to give our plans a pan?
Is that how you -- why you
became Taliban?

Is this the fate of us all, every woman and man,
for every American to turn Taliban?!
Oh please, Bob, please, explain if you can!
Were you radicalized by the constant demands
of life in the limelight in La La Land?
Did Scientology not appeal to you, man?!
It worked for Will Smith. It worked for Greta Van!
What shall become of our character man?
Oh Bob, Bob, Bob, oh Bob Balaban,
why did you -- how could you
turn Taliban?

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