Hair in the Belly

by Itchy N Scratchy

DEAR Sir,

Pardon me, sir, there's a hair in your belly.
It's long, brown, wavy, and I find it quite smelly.

To be perfectly honest, I think it belongs to me.
I left it there last night, when I went down to see
what all that moaning and flitting was about;
as it turned out you were touching your spout.

So, I wonder if now I may be so bold
as to ask for the hair back, clean, pressed with a starchy fold?

Sure, I have a few more to spare;
it's just that you happened to choose my favorite hair.

I had that hair when I won the lucky jackpot.
It was by my side when I smoked my first crackpot.

You see now why I need it back.
I appreciate your kindness
in replacing my lack.

Sincerely,
Balding.

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