Will the Rainbow Be Connected? Never!

Essay

by Adam Bulger

KERMIT THE FROG? More like Kermit the fraud.

In the opening lines of his signature song "The Rainbow Connection," Mr. The Frog offers two falsehoods as truths. He presents them sneakily, and it has allowed generations of American Youth to be lulled into their seductive lies.

He asks, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side?"

His premise is false to its core: there are far from a critical number of songs about rainbows, and of the few of those that exist, none are in fact about what's on the other side of the rainbows.

Contrary to Mr. The Frog's assertions, there are merely noteworthy two songs in the Western canon that have rainbows as their subject: Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from the soundtrack to The Wizard of Oz and "Rainbow in the Dark" by Dio. And, neither of these songs are about what's on the other side of their titular rainbow.

It’s right there in the title, Mr. The Frog: over the rainbow. Not "on the other side of" — "over."

And the rainbow in "Rainbow in the Dark" doesn’t have a specific geographic locale. Nonetheless, I grudgingly give Mr. The Frog kudos for anticipating its composition by four years.

But in any event, Mr. The Frog, your legacy of lies must end. Also, I am starting to suspect it may, in fact, be easy to be green.

 

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