Year-View Mirror: 2010 in Rhyme

by Scott Emmons

IT WAS CHAOS again in the year Twenty Ten,
What with earthquakes, foreclosures, and hacking.
There were flash crash corrections and midterm elections
Where Democrats took a shellacking!
There was 3-D TV and the Party of Tea,
There were iPads to play Angry Birds.
South African fellas blew mean vuvuzelas
And Palin was making up words.
It was hard to stay chipper when Al split with Tipper.
Volcanoes and floods had us freaking.
There were bailouts in Greece, Kevin Smith was obese,
And every last Wiki was leaking!
The health care debate rendered many irate
As partisan rifts seemed to widen.
There were ardent appeals and a few shady deals
Plus a beautiful F-bomb from Biden!
BP’s shoddy well was soon gushing like hell.
It was "Spill, baby, spill" as they say.
When the fish started choking and pelicans croaking,
It wrecked Tony Hayward’s whole day!
Obama, that pistol, went off on McChrystal.
We brawled over mosques at Ground Zero.
In a time of dissention and heightening tension,
That dude from Jet Blue was our hero!
In Hollywood news, Gibson still hated Jews
And the members of every last race,
While Lindsay-type fun made Rip Torn and his gun
Seem the height of decorum and grace!
Harry Potter struck gold with a story half-told.
Inception scored ten out of ten.
The Coens had a hit with their take on True Grit
And the Titans were clashing again!
When it came to TV, we were gaga for Glee
And Snooki was not to be bossed.
There was bitchin' and moanin' from Leno and Conan,
And one crappy ending for Lost!
On the subject of ending, it's truly heart-rending
To think of the people who’ve passed.
Gary Coleman is gone; Dennis Hopper moved on;
Rue McClanahan, gold to the last!
The boomers all pout now that Salinger's out
And we already miss Corey Haim.
Mitch Miller lived long, but he's crooned his last song.
Peter Graves has lived up to his name.
In sadness we mourn Robert Culp, Lena Horne,
Leslie Nielsen, that icon of humor.
Lynn Redgrave is through, Mr. Steinbrenner too,
And Bill Cosby — No, that was a rumor!
Yes, it's been a tough year full of tension and fear
In a world going out of its tree.
From the blows we've been dealt, we've quite honestly felt
Like that baby from Toy Story 3!
While some are complaining our freedoms are waning
And some say the rent's too damn high,
The Koreas are fighting, the bedbugs are biting.
If I were John Boehner, I'd cry!
And yet we can cope, for there’s reason to hope.
Those miners in Chile are well.
New START is on track, Pee-wee Herman is back,
And our soldiers can now ask and tell.
Let's stay optimistic and not go ballistic
At each little crisis and glitch,
As we hope that '11 is absolute heaven,
'Cause Two Thousand Ten was a bitch!

Originally published in The Daily Rhyme.

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